Encouraging Sensitivity and Strength in Children
Paramahansa Yogananda once wrote, “Softer than the flower, where kindness is concerned; stronger than the thunder, where principles are at stake." I love this quote because it reminds me of what I strive to be.
In this polarized world we can learn about kindness, but forget to also teach boundaries; which leads to cultivating doormats. On the other hand, we can learn to “dominate or be dominated” which is also lacking boundaries, and it leads to being a tyrant. Yet we don’t have to be a doormat, or a tyrant. We can be balanced.
We can be both sensitive and strong and I think that’s an important message for tender hearted youths to learn.
In order to grasp this, one has to have a strong sense of self and be confident in who they are. This means we have to let the children we love be who they are and not try to change them into who we think they should be. Because if they fake it in order to receive conditional love and acceptance, they are going to miss some important lessons.
The first being that we cannot be “right” in the world until we are right within ourselves. The second lesson being that, everyone has the right to express needs, opinions, and feelings – and that includes ourselves.
Yet if we are taught that we have to change our core self in order to avoid criticism, judgment, embarrassment – we lose ourselves and become people pleasers. This eventually leads to resentment. On the other hand, if we are taught that we have to dominate others so that we don’t get dominated, then we can also lose ourselves, and become something we are not. This is sometimes referred to as auric infiltration.
How do we get along in this world that has so many different energetics at play? I feel that being direct is a helpful approach.
Children need to know that everyone is not going to like them, and that is okay. They are not going to like everyone, and that is okay. We don’t have to pretend in order to have harmony. What is important is that we learn to be respectful despite differences.
If someone just does not float our boat - we don’t have to argue, or bend into a pretzel trying to prove ourselves. We can agree to disagree and move towards what we find fulfilling, nourishing, and supportive. This is called aligning to what is resonant.
However, it’s not always so simple. There are some people who will not be respectful. It doesn’t matter how kind we are. It doesn’t matter if we want to avoid conflict with them – there are some people who absolutely do not care and will cause chaos no matter what. Therefore, it’s important for children to know that we can be kind but we cannot force kindness on someone else. Everyone is not going to be nice or civilized. We have to learn how to discern the type of person we are dealing with because that’s how we know who to trust and who not to trust.
It can be hard to understand the motivations of others if we don’t understand ourselves because we are so busy trying to turn off our true feelings in order to please others. So dear parents, educators, and caregivers – please keep that in mind when children are stewarded in your care. What are you really teaching them?
Loving and sensitive beings can face some really tough lessons surrounding this. But it can be softened if we build up our emotional intelligence muscles. I’ve started a series called Emotional Self Defense for Empaths to help walk through these topics.
How do we recognize a predatory person? Why do people behave this way? How can we protect ourselves? How can we ensure that we have good leadership skills? What’s the difference between a leader and a tyrant? How can we be a leader if we really don’t want to? All of this and more is covered in the series.
Please let me know if you have any questions about that.
Podcasts
I have some special treats for the children and the adults who care for them. For the kids, I’ve launched The Inner Room podcast. This is a story time and affirmation podcast where we learn social skills and how to empower ourselves. For our story this month we are tackling what to do when our hobbies or interests get out of hand and start causing us problems. We’ll learn the importance of moderation, self-control, and emotional management. You can listen in here.
For the adults, I’ve launched Rose Heart Harmonic. This is a podcast full of music, reflections and affirmations that help remind us how to stay peaceful in this world that has not yet learned to be that. The first episode is about self love. We may not have learned this as a child so if we have any influence over children, we want to make sure we are right within ourselves so that they can learn good habits. You can listen in here.
Remember to love yourself, stay true to yourself, and have respect for others right to do the same.
As always please take what resonates, discard what doesn’t, and follow the path of your own inner light.
With Love,
Ms. Jennifer